Write scenes that hook readers

Want to start writing a scene but don’t know where to start? Here’s a simple tip that’s helped me.

Before I summarize the tip, let’s look at what makes a story worth reading. Why do we keep turning pages? When someone tells us a story, why do we listen, wanting to know more?

As human beings, we’re hardwired for storytelling. It’s an important part of our everyday lives. We tell a friend about that funny thing that happened on the way to work the other day or describe the memory of a great vacation we took with our partner, reliving the experience together. Not to mention the internal stories we tell ourselves to make sense of the world.

But what makes a story stand out?

Conflict is the writer’s best friend

I saw they had a sale on your favorite potato chips — two for one.

That’s interesting or helpful. Maybe you’ll even rush out to buy the potato chips. But it’s not a story, just information.

I saw they had a sale on your favorite potato chips — two bags for one. I wanted to buy them for you. But there were only two bags left, and as I grabbed one, this guy cut in front of me and grabbed the other.

All right. Now you’re not rushing down to the store. Instead you’re asking, Then what happened?

The reason this second example feels more like a story is that there’s clear conflict. In fact, in a few sentences, we get a viewpoint character with a clearly stated goal ( I wanted to buy them for you), a second character who apparently has the same goal (this guy cut in front of me). Both characters act on their desires, which results in conflict.

Notice that the conflict isn’t simply that the other person grabbed both bags of potato chips and walked out. No, the deal is two bags for the price of one, and since each person grabbed one bag, neither can benefit from the deal without coming into conflict with the other person.

In my example, the protagonist’s experience is that the guy is initiating conflict, because he “cut in front of me.” But depending on your characters and the story you’re telling, the initiative in the conflict could be reversed. That’s up to you.

Playing with point of view

Another tip (two for the price of one!): Experiment with the point of view narration.

The example above is told in the first person point of view (POV), as if one friend were telling another (or spouse or whoever). But it can easily be changed to third person:

At the corner store, Carrie saw they had a sale on Bill’s favorite salt-and-vinegar potato chips — two bags for one. Perfect. A nice little peace-offering after the fight this morning. There were only two bags left, and as Carrie grabbed one, a burly guy in denim overalls cut in front of her and grabbed the other.

Notice that I embellished the character’s motivation and the description of the antagonist. The character’s motivation gives her goal meaning, deepening her desire for the object she wants. Meanwhile, the brief description of the guy as “burly” and “in denim overalls” might conjure a strong, formidable opponent, raising the tension.

One of the great things about playing with POV is that it can inspire your imagination to discover new things about the scene.

This trick works if you’re writing an entirely new scene without characters in mind, but it’s also a great tool for revising a manuscript-length draft or a short story. If a scene isn’t working, try rewriting it in a different POV. Even if you plan to revert to the original POV, the rewrite may give you the perspective you need on the scene to fix the problems or it may spark your creativity and give you new insight into your characters.

But who gets the potato chips?

The example above isn’t an entire scene. So how do we move things along after the conflict begins?

We make things harder for the characters. We raise the stakes. Let’s stick with our third-person POV:

At the corner store, Carrie saw they had a sale on Bill’s favorite salt-and-vinegar potato chips — two bags for one. Perfect. A nice little peace-offering after the fight this morning. There were only two bags left, and as Carrie grabbed one, a burly guy in denim overalls cut in front of her and grabbed the other.

If the guy’s a sweetheart, he hands her the bag of potato chips and says, “Don’t worry about it, I can find another snack,” and we don’t have much of a story. So let’s make both characters dig into their positions:

“Hey, that’s mine,” she said.

“Forget it, lady.”

The guy spun around.

They’ve both dug into their positions, and now the guy is showing, with his body language, that he’s ready for a confrontation. But let’s raise the stakes further by making this scene about something much more meaningful to Carrie than a couple bags of potato chips:

An invisible hand grabbed Carrie’s heart and squeezed it. She took a step backward, the bag of potato chips pressed against her chest.

This was no stranger. It was Pete, her ex-fiancé.

“Pete.”

Peter’s look of surprise was a flash. Then his face darkened.

“You.”

Voila. Carrie’s annoying encounter over a bag of potato chips got escalated when she realized her antagonist is her ex-fiancé. Now it’s personal. The stakes are higher.

Where will this encounter end? Carrie went into the supermarket to get a treat for Bill after having a fight with him; let’s say we end the scene with Pete discovering where she lives now, which is a true disaster for Carrie. She’s been avoiding him for the past year. Why? Carrie panicked and left him at the altar, replacing him with Bill, the safe choice that her parents like, but whom she truly doesn’t love. Though she won’t admit that to herself yet.